The last week has just been one giant clusterfuck. It’s vulgar, but there’s just no other way to say it–between moving all my stuff from one dorm to another, trying to set up my computer to basically the way it was before the crash, and trying to get all my stuff in order, it’s been exhausting. I guess I should have taken the hint when that tree started talking to me last Thursday, but… Whatever.
The real sign that I’m overtired is when I start having weird dreams. Last night, for instance, I dreamed I had that virus from “Cabin Fever”, a dream I haven’t had since I first saw the movie in 190th grade. A lot of people ask me how I dream because I’m blind, and I’m still at a loss to explain it.
There are psychological studies that claim to know that blind people dream with there other senses, but that just isn’t right. The best way I can figure to explain it is that, at least for me, I see things in my dreams the way I think they are. I tell people that, and they want me to describe them. Since I only have personality, I end up describing their soul to some extent, so they’re not just upset if I give them an ugly physicality because of being called ugly that way. I think they have a sense for what’s going on, and it scares them. In truth, it scares me, too. I mean, a lot of couples get married, stay that way for a number of years, and really don’t know that much about each other, which is probably why they’re able to stay together. I’m not saying I have the ability to ever know everything about a person, or claiming some psychic talent–not at all. But I do tend to observe things, and it’s like Adam and Eve realized they were naked, they couldn’t unrealize it. So what am I supposed to do with that? On the one hand, I believe that people are basically good, and they believe it mostly. And then there’s my perception. It never turns off.
Stephen King has this talent for making anyone seem like an asshole. It makes for a great read, but I wonder how he maintains any sort of relationship. Does he just choose to overlook them, like most people choose to overlook racism, and then mark a mental milestone for himself saying “Today, I managed to have my first conversation with a power hungry prick without judging him.”? Do you see the problem there?
I guess it doesn’t matter much. I’ve gotten this far, but it’s nice to get it out. Well, here’s to a better week.
Tags: books, Cabin Fever, Clusterfuck, Computers, dreaming, psychological studies, Soul Gazing, Stephen King
